Prompt
Essay – Shopping online
In many countries, more and more people are doing their shopping online instead of in local shops. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Band 9 sample answer
Band 9 sample answer
Sentence-by-sentence analysis
Anatomy of a Band 9 Essay
Read the model answer normally, or switch on the examiner breakdown to see how each sentence contributes to the response.
Analysed against the four IELTS Writing assessment criteria. Each note explains how this specific sentence supports the essay.
Paragraph 1: Positive overall, with local-retail costs
Online shopping has changed retail by allowing consumers to compare products, prices and availability without travelling to a physical store. I regard this as a largely positive development because it increases convenience and competition, although the decline of local shops can weaken communities and reduce choice for people who cannot or do not want to shop online.
The opening identifies the core functional change created by online retail rather than merely stating that it is popular.
The judgement is explicit and balanced, previewing both the main benefits and the most important social cost.
Paragraph 2: Convenience, access and price transparency
The main advantage is efficiency. Consumers can search many retailers within minutes, read detailed product information and order goods regardless of local opening hours. This is particularly valuable for people with limited mobility, those living far from major shopping areas and workers whose schedules make store visits difficult. Online competition can also make prices more transparent because buyers can compare identical products across multiple sellers before purchasing.
The paragraph has a clear organising idea that is then developed through several mechanisms.
The response explains efficiency through search, information and time flexibility.
The essay shows that convenience can also improve access for specific groups.
“prices more transparent” precisely captures how comparison changes consumer bargaining power and market competition.
Paragraph 3: Costs to local retail and the environment
However, the shift creates real costs for physical retail. Independent shops may struggle when consumers inspect products locally but purchase them more cheaply online, and once enough stores close, town centres can lose both employment and everyday social activity. Delivery also creates packaging and transport costs, while returns can increase waste when consumers order several versions of an item and send most of them back.
The transition introduces the negative side without weakening the overall position.
The response explains a specific free-riding mechanism and then connects store closures to wider community effects.
The argument adds a distinct environmental limitation grounded in how online purchasing actually operates.
Paragraph 4: Preserve a mixed retail system
Despite these disadvantages, I consider the overall trend positive because online retail expands access and gives consumers greater control over when, where and from whom they buy. The strongest outcome is not the complete replacement of local shops but a mixed retail system in which physical stores survive by offering services, expertise or experiences that websites cannot easily reproduce. Online shopping is beneficial, but diversity in retail remains worth preserving.
The conclusion restates the judgement and synthesises the strongest consumer-side benefits.
The response moves beyond simple evaluation to a realistic coexistence model.
The concise final contrast leaves the position clear while retaining the essay's main qualification.
Verified word count: 259
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